Friday, November 21, 2008

so much hungry

So throughout the bridal blogging world (and it is a CRAZY world, for those of you uninitiated), there's a lot of self-hate and body-bashing. I will attempt to not do that now. It's understandable--there's a lot of pressure to look great on your big day, coupled with the camera adding ten's a recipe for disordered eating/body image. It's actually very much like putting every woman into a TV show for a year or so. It's not healthy. Anyway, I read these blogs of seriously size 4 women bashing how chubby they are, and hating on themselves for having that burger last night, and lamenting that they're not a size 0. It makes me sad.

All of that being said, I've been battling my weight off and on (that is, I've always been heavier than I might have liked, but often have said fuck it and eaten whatever and however much I want anyway) for as long as I can remember. And I'm susceptible to the same pressures. So I'm trying to eat healthier, and less in preparation for the wedding. And you know what? It sucks. I like fatty, greasy, sugary foods. And LOTS OF THEM. I hate being hungry. But I try to rationalize that this is a long-term thing to make myself healthier, and not a quick fix to look hot in my dress. Looking hot is just a side benefit. A very large side benefit.

So, I basically just said I hate this kind of post and then went on to make it. Being a bride makes me awful, and I apologize.